Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Don't Sleep, There Are Snakes


And it’s Testimony Tuesday again! 

I met Dan Everett and his wife Keren in 2000 at  the Summer Institute of Linguistics (University of North Dakota), when his atheism was apparently still in the closet. All the missionaries on the faculty were impressive in their own right, but Dan stands out in my memory. Besides being a serious linguist, he played a mean electric guitar for our chapel services and his stories from the Amazon betrayed a mischievous streak, plus more than a hint of admiration for the Piraha people. 

A decade later, I was surprised to encounter his name in another context. You can read about Dan’s work with the Piraha here and here. And if you are interested in linguistics theory, definitely check out his book.

In Dan’s words: 
“[Bible translation] did not work out very well from the missionary perspective. In fact, the effect was that I abandoned my own faith in the face of the Pirahas’ happiness, demand for evidence that I did not have, and their respect and warmth for me. I talk about all of this in detail in Don’t Sleep, There are Snakes.”


Monday, January 21, 2013

Dissatisfaction



Looking back at my family’s “church history”, I can see that my parents’ church experiences frequently left them dissatisfied or disillusioned. My dad, born into a loyal and tight-knit family and born again in the early 70’s, clung to the ideal of a “Family of God” that both tolerated and supported one another. I knew the word “ecumenical” was pejorative in some circles, but we embraced it in the best sense. It offered us room to maneuver among the believers; when tension increased at one port, we could wait out the storm in a different harbor. It was all the same water, after all.

My parents lived in the same house for 23 years. Perhaps it is telling that during that time period they were associated with at least half a dozen different churches and visited many others. Growing up, I was exposed to all types of Christianity:
  • dancing Charismatics prophesying in tongues
  • Mennonites singing a capella hymns from shaped notes
  • earnest Baptist altar calls
  • Pentecostal Bible-thumping
  • Quaker silence
  • Nazarene and Wesleyan and Reformed Presbyterian services
  • somber Lutheran Lenten services with pipe organ in minor keys
  • friendly guitar-led home fellowships
  • an Episcopal Christmas service that struck me as “ornate”
  • even a Catholic Mass.

We were sufficiently well-rounded to discover the kernel of shared faith in each group or denomination. We all addressed the same God in the same language, just with different accents. Like the blind men and the elephant, each had a piece of the whole Truth. In my adult mind, I figured one could "collect the whole set", as it were, gleaning fragments of Christ's image from each source and discarding what didn't fit.

What set Christianity apart from other faiths was that it was a Relationship, with a Person, symbolized by heterosexual marriage itself. A marriage, I learned, could only be dissolved if it turned out to be a fraud (like if one partner was gay, or already belonged to someone else). Mutual unhappiness was not a church-condoned justification for divorce, and penalties would apply to anyone thus betraying their vows. Since marriage would be a permanent state, I spent many years pondering what qualities I would want in a husband, what characteristics I could live with and what I could not. 

We learned to evaluate the Body of Christ the same way we would shop for a home. These features were nice, we could adjust to that, other things were completely intolerable. Sometimes we would stay at a church for several years before looking elsewhere. But as we accumulated ex-churches around town, even Dad became reluctant to make his commitment official, preferring to participate in a more freelance fashion. 

Stories of fresh starts resonated strongly in our home. The Apostles, the Anabaptists, the Reformers, the Pilgrims, the Campbellites, the Great Awakenings, and so on. We looked forward to heaven where we'd all enjoy the same beliefs and the same worship styles and nobody would have to worry about offending God or each other. At last, no one would be deceived--or cruel. Because deep down, the Christianity we knew in this life was always disappointing.





Thursday, January 17, 2013

Relationship




As two people in a relationship mature, their friendship deepens. As children become less dependent on their parents, they develop richer ways of engaging in their parents’ lives. As I became more secure in my marriage, I became less jealous, less dependent, more self-confident, and capable of contributing more to the relationship. 

According to American evangelicals, Christianity is all about a relationship. It’s all about knowing God and him knowing me, and the two of us loving each other, and needing each other and taking care of each other—wait, the Almighty doesn’t depend on me. He doesn’t have to explain anything to me, or even TALK to me. Yet, according to evangelicals, I’ll be in eternal trouble if I give up calling, or get suspicious about the claim that I’m on his mind all the time, or even begin to doubt that he really exists. 

Christianity offers a relationship that never grows up: a perpetually lopsided arrangement of obedience, dependency, petition, and childish trust. Jesus may have said, “I have called you friends”, but friends maintain a dialogue. They respect each other, discuss their differences, explain misunderstandings, compromise, and work for one another’s benefit. If I ever had a relationship with God, I would have to describe him as my abusive ex. I left him when I realized we would never share the same values. 


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Honey? Sugar? God?

It's Testimony Tuesday!


From Confessions of an Evangelical Atheist:

Of course, while studying chemistry, I learned that there is no difference between refined table sugar and "natural" sugars. This is a minor point, but given the black and white distinctions I had nurtured, it was shocking. It was a first step to questioning all of my beliefs.

Amanda's journey feels very familiar. I love how her story leaps from the chemistry of sugar to the question of salvation for Hindus. It's a long read, but well worth the time.

While I didn't grow up Seventh Day Adventist, SDA Bible stories and studies were a strong influence in our home. We listened faithfully to "Your Story Hour" and we regularly ordered natural foods--like honey--from the SDA warehouse. Some of the labels were inscribed with Bible verses. Even so, I knew Adventists didn't believe in eternal hellfire, so I wondered if that was exactly where they were headed, all their good health in this life notwithstanding.




Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012. . . and Santa Claus


Though it unfolded slowly and naturally, 2012 will go down in our history as a more-than-usually momentous year.  It was a year full of new adventures. We celebrated our 10th anniversary (several months late) in Hawaii. We took the kids to the Pacific coast. I tried to choose a college major. Becky discovered gymnastics. Christen discovered karate. Benjie started public school. Missy got braces.

But the most significant changes are the things we are leaving behind in 2012. We replaced the framed guardian angel print with a wolf. Stacks of books and Christian kids' movies went in the give-away box; I even culled my hymnal collection. By Easter morning, we were ready to end the life support, the last illusions of faith. Christen and I helped with the kids’ crafts at the Methodist church, then listened to the choir and the amazing pipe organ, knowing it was our last church service and we no longer expected a resurrection.

The process began long ago, but we finally let go of God in 2012. We explained this transition to our kids, then watched them thrive in the free atmosphere of science plus imagination. We met other skeptics, atheists, agnostics. We discovered depth and heart in art and entertainment we would once have dismissed as offensive. We laughed ourselves breathless at comedy that wasn't funny for us before. We learned more about our universe and caught our breath in fresh awe and wonder. And the friendships that weathered this period are dearer to us than ever.

Two years ago I hung a scripture plaque in the dining room—partly because I found it on a clearance table, partly because I love its shade of blue that matches my wallpaper, and also because my confidence in Christianity felt shaky at the time. Now I keep it there as a reminder of what “living by faith” was like. 

FAITH:
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for
and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

In the end, religion is really a lot like Santa Claus. It is easy to have “faith as a child”, to follow adults you love and trust, to participate in common rituals, to learn the ways your community interprets evidence to bolster belief. As in so many holiday movies, one hopes while trying to stifle doubts. But outside the movies, eventually curiosity may lead to exploration and research. And the more tightly faith was held, the deeper the disillusionment.

I held my faith rather tightly for decades.  Letting go of the God concept has been a kind of rebirth—a peaceful, liberating, joyous experience in spite of disorienting moments of adjustment. I am excited to leave so much baggage behind in 2012 and move forward more lightly in the years to come.

Friday, November 23, 2012

College Drives

This is my fourth semester of community college. 
By now I have lots of cozy memories associated with that regular drive all by myself:

Glorious sunsets in the rear view mirror.
Watching summer turn to autumn turn to winter.
Leaves dancing across the asphalt and drifting against the curb.

Observing the suspended moon's changing shape from Tuesday to Thursday to Tuesday again.
Constellations and planets showing up bright as I drive away from the city lights.
Catching opossums in the headlights.

Christmas music on the radio.
Showing my ID to the soldier at the gate to the Air Force base.
The car's heater reaching my toes.

Feeling deeply reassured by Alan Alda's voice as I replay his audiobook for months.
The world starting to make sense again.
Thinking through difficult classes and celebrating academic victories.
Analyzing the strongly-accented English of all my foreign-born professors.

Singing my loudest with my favorite songs.
Rolling down the windows on mild days.
Taking the left turn too fast in my little Subaru.
Peach Snapple. Dove Dark Chocolate.
Coming home to people who love me.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Reflections On My Childhood, Part I

I keep trying to understand my childhood. I look at it from different angles, through different lenses. While I reject many of my parents' beliefs, there are certainly gifts from my childhood that I am passing on to my children.

My mom taught me many of the skills I use every day. She was preparing me to be a "helpmeet" and a stay-at-home mom, so she made sure I learned to sew and cook and clean and care for children. She taught me how to manage menus, schedules and shopping lists, how to rotate clothing by seasons and organize closets. I could make curtains and quilts, bathe infants, entertain toddlers, balance a checkbook, and teach math to children. As a teen, I learned to execute a meal plan so that all the courses were ready at the same time. I could pack meals for three days that could be cooked in a hotel room using only hot water. As a young adult, I did the family grocery shopping, parking the first filled cart while I loaded the next one and discovering that the chilled orange juice could be more economical than the frozen concentrate.

Nutrition was always important to Mom. When the other kids in my class pulled out their packages of sugary, artificially colored fruit leather at snack time, I opened my Tupperware bowl and enjoyed homemade applesauce, or rhubarb sauce. Candy was strictly limited, chocolate frowned upon, and we sometimes got sesame-honey treats from the health food store in our Christmas stockings. I still casually refer to blue food coloring as "poison". With so many other cultural traditions being discarded on religious grounds, our family holiday celebrations centered strongly around the food. 

Momma wanted us to know about nature and where our food came from, about farming and gardening and even recycling. Sometimes she made our yogurt. Sometimes we drank unhomogenized milk from the dairy down the road, or raw milk from a friend's cow. Mom ordered minimally-processed natural foods in bulk twice a year: grains, beans, nuts, honey, dried fruit. She often had us pick seasonal produce ourselves. We would drive to orchards or fields where we gathered green beans into paper bags before they wilted in the hot sun, filled baskets full of fuzzy peaches that made our necks itch, lugged pails full of sticky red cherries, picked armloads of tasseled sweet corn, scoured a field for potatoes crusted with earth, and learned to select only the ripe berries. We blanched and peeled and pitted and canned and froze and mashed and sauced and juiced and dried anything that grew under the sun. We helped friends butcher cattle, deer, and chickens. Dad even tapped our neighbor's trees to boil off our own maple syrup. All winter long, we'd enjoy homemade jams, bowls of canned peaches and plums and pears, or maple syrup with hints of wood smoke on hearty whole-wheat pancakes and we'd remember longer, warmer days. 

These days I am more aware than ever of my connection to our planet, the cycle of its seasons, and my place in the universe. I try to help my kids celebrate nature, too. We have seasonal food traditions, we observe the Earth's cycles. We plant things in the earth, and appreciate what it gives back to us. My kids have picked cherries and berries and green beans. I take them grocery shopping with me and teach them to make informed food choices. Running a self-sufficient homestead holds no appeal for me, but my upbringing gave me a respect for farmers, a taste for real food, and a sense of responsibility.